“And she skates clean! But what did the judges think??”

I competed yesterday!!! OMG I WAS SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR SKATING CLEAN!!

My results, you ask?

 

 

 

I got last. Yup, LAST. I mean WTF dude I skated clean, I interpreted the music, I didn’t fall, && I kept up with the music! But I got last. But you wanna know what’s really pushes my buttons? The fact that the girl who got third, flippin’ FELL. That’s right, she FELL. I was pissed of so much, and after being so proud of myself, and when I saw my resluts I broke down crying. The girl who got second basically sucked because 1) the girl’s a biotch 2) she skates with no artistry or flexibility at all.

It’s annoying, yes. But I have to move on.

Oh well. It’s not like I’m not going to let this affect me in any way, and think this competition was important.

(Okay it was a little important for my social status at the rink because losing an ISI competition is a little sad.)

Bring it back =]

Yo, trannies. I’m back, and I’m still here to write y’all some fierce posts. (Sorry, Project Runway was on Friday Night, so those words may come up a lot. Just a warning) Well since the last time I posted,  I’ve done a lot. In this post, there will be sub posts kinda just as if they were their own separate post, but still all in one. Have fun.

New Approach, new skating, new me.

I’ve officially kicked in my new approach for skating, and lemme tell yas all, IT FRIGGIN’ WORKS LIKE MAGIC. It’s really creepy how it works. You think positve, positive things will happen. You think negitive, negitive things will happen. You stay positive and stress free, you kick ass in skating. Yeah so all of you skaters out there having a bit of meltdown, try this new approach and I swear it works. My friends have tried it and it worked on them. It’s amazing.

“Hey Tommy! Would you care to see my axel?” she asked in awe.

Tommy effing Steenberg subbed my class on Saturday. He’s amazing and a national level skater who trains at my rink. Okay so he’s not up to Evan Lysacek (<33) or Johnny Weir (:-P) or anything, but he will be, I swear it. He spins like O_o.

Anyways, at the end we were working on axels, and he asked if any of us had landed axels before. With a quick response and my usual raising my hand with one finger pointing up, he told me to show him. The ones I did in front of him sucked majorly, but then of course he went to go help everyone else I landed one. Then, after a few more suckish attempts, Tommy looks over and I land one. He told me great axels, and I’m really good. Yeah so that really helps ^_^

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep…Begin.

“The test will begin in 30 seconds, please get over by the start line. When running stop until you hear the beep. If you stop running your test is over. Ready *beep beep beep beep beep* Begin.” – The Pacer lady with the annoying voice who needs to shut up.

Well today was…uhm, fun. We had to run the f***ing pacer….again. Only because in one class, their teacher (who’s also the health teacher) forgot to write down his students’ scores so they had to do it agian. Everyone in my class was just like, “Well why the hell do we need to run it again, we already did it!!!” Well, we had to. Our teach said we need to do one every quarter, but I didn’t do it twice last semester. Oh well.

During my turn I was opting for at least 45, and as soon as I reached 32, it happend. My leg just out of no where went totally numb and I lost all feeling in it. I stayed in for 4 more laps so I could get a B, and I just had to stop. My leg had a weird feeling.

But 36 works for me.

My speech to the skaters out there

I’ve been thinking and thinking, and my speech to all skaters about myself, and others. My words exactly:

I’m not going to quit. I’m going to do my best to FIGHT through this god awful back injury and treat it more than I have. I’m going to skate with more speed and not back down when my back starts to hurt. I’m going to work everything out. And if I fail, well then at least I failed trying, and didn’t fail from being afraid of what happend next. I’m going to compete, and put my all into it and if I don’t do well, I won’t cry over it. I’m going to skate to my uber fast song whether I like it or not. I’m going to train as hard as I possibly can and SWEAT while I’m on the ice. I’m not gonna cry when I fail, and I most certainly will NOT TAKE CRAP FROM THE OTHER SKATERS. And my friends who support me, I’ll make sure they actually get the thanks they deserve. I’m going to try new things my coach wants me to try. And I’m not going to stop until I get what I’m looking for. Which is a FIGURE skater, who doesn’t win or lose for their talent, but for their dignity, determination, courage, and dedication. And that’s what this sport’s all about.

And that’s where I’m going.

Trying to keep myself from the road of off-ice

By road of ‘off-ice’ I mean the road to off the ice. Seriously, I’m trying my best NOT to quit.

Because I suck at skating. I suck majorly.

I can’t handle this anymore. I have an injury, blades that won’t sharpen right, and a technique that just makes me look clumsy and stupid. So I suck. My back kicked in today but it was worse. Horrifyingly worse. It hasn’t gone away yet. And I now have to basically relearn everything and that means I’ll never get my axel, and I won’t be prepared for my competition. Today was probably the hardest practice I’ve had to go through. Even more than yesterday. I’ve cried at each practice the last two days because I just can’t do anything. People are staring at me like I’m horrible, I’m almost getting run over, my blades are horrible, I can’t do anything anymore. IT’S ALL FALLING ON ME AT ONCE. I used to have fun and love skating. Now, I don’t have fun and I don’t know where the love went. I’m never going to land anything higher than what I’ve got. And that’s a given. I just know it’ll never happen. My flexiblily has gone down even though I stretch everyday. I’m gaining weight like the lord knows what even though I work out, I’m not burning everything off. My edges stink, my form that used to be really good is gone, and my spins, spirals, and jumps aren’t as good as they used to be.

I’m no longer qualified to be called a ‘figure skater’. But more like an…’ice skater’.

Okay vent time over.

5/8 to 1/2?

No this has nothing to do with math

But I sent my skates into be sharpend yesterday, and when i get them back they’re sharp, but not sharp enough. Apparently they sharpend it to 5/8 which isn’t sharp enough for me. It kept throwing me off and I got so frustrated with my blades I like cried…twice. So my coach had me drop them off to get them sharpend to a 1/2 so hopefully that works for me.

Yeah so basically I couldn’t do anything. I looked foolish out there. Yippie. *rollseyes*

Simply… Shabby Chic??

As none of you know, I’m moving to another house for reasons I don’t feel like explaining. But anyways, my mom and I were at Target looking around for some stuff to get for the new house. She SPECIFICALLY told me I could have a room however I’d like, and I wanted colourful. Well, she agreed, and we found these storage options that would of gone with my theme, but it said “Juvenile Storage” and so I said that it doesn’t matter,  but of course my mom’s all like:

Mom: “Hun, it’s too babish don’tcha think?”

Me: “Well, it doesn’t matter. No one will know.”

GUILT BOMB COMES DOWN ON ME.

Mom: “Fine, if you want baby storage.”

Me: “Gosh mom, fine I’ll pick something else!!”

Mom: “I don’t care, take what you want.”

Me:”This isn’t so easy with you is it?”

So I go to get a cart, and my mom picks out this “Shabby Chic” style of stuff. It’s pretty, grown-uppy, but too plain for me. Mom goes on another guilt trip: “Oh it’s so feminine and great for you.”

Then Mom-o explains how my room is also half the guest room.

So we chose the “Shabby Chic” Well, at least I still get to help ^_^

Run with the wind

So today was the day me and everyone else was dreading…THE MILE. Yup, 4 laps in 8:30 – 11:00. It was uber windy outside, and I also have lunch right before gym. And I decided not to eat a salad, but motzarella sticks instead. But, the mile wasn’t as grueling as I thought it would be. I seriously was a mad-man. (or woman ^_^) I ran the entire thing. No, seriously! I didn’t stop at all. I slowed down a bit but kept going. People thought I was nuts or something. I got 9:18, a new personal best ^_^

So….*happy time* YAY ME!!

Alright, I’m done now.

Back to life….unfortunately.

My stack full of papers

All covered in a stack full of papers. Well, not literally of course

But Civics, Math (which I don’t feel like doing, actually), Science, English (computerized paper. oh yeah), and Orchestra (if that counts. I might not practice.) Like, GOSHESSNESS. Give a girl a break here. I’m being slow and bad because I’m here and not in my stack full of papers. *Wishes for it to all be done*

I’m still most likely screwed in Civics. I effing hate gold days even more. :/

Honour roll no more

Basically, I’m most likely gonna get a bad report card this quarter. I can’t keep up with my skating and school work. I might have to drop life for it. Yeah so you’re probably asking now, “Why isn’t she making up those lab write ups she’s been putting off?” Well, I’m just don’t know. I wanna be on the honour roll like I’ve been the past two quarters, but it’s just all falling on me at once. I’ve also got the mile in gym tomorrow (hopefully not, though.) so I’ll be tired as hell. Great. Just what I need.

On another note. I’m gonna fail civics because I have no service learning this quarter. I have something planned for April 5th, which is the day after the last day of the quarter.

I’m screwed. :/

When Hell freezes over, should I bring my skates?

Wow today was interesting.

 OMG the rink was so hot today. Like everyone was sweating way more than they normally do, because it was like 60 degrees in there or something. My mom made a weird comment saying that it was like hell froze over *laughing*

Anyways, back to skating. My back wasn’t bothering me so much today, but the fact I had like no edge what so ever threw me off. I couldn’t do my spins very well. My jumps were okay. I was flutzing a bit today, though. Then I practiced my program, and I almost fell on my footwork. No edge = Not good. Yeah so mostly I just did some random stuff to skate, but since it was so effing hot in there I was dying. But overall I can’t really discribe today.[random] I feel good today because my friend who’s almost got a double axel told me she thinks I’m really good at axels and they are clean. She doesn’t understand why I double foot. In a strange way, I felt good about that ^_^ [/random]